13 April 2015

Invested energy

Lately, I have been wanting to yank my hair, scream, punch walls, and kick a car off its parking stall. Bottom line, my stress level have been going 100 mph and I am close to burning out. So many things to think about and to do, and being the Virgo that I am I am prone to wearing off myself without budging. I can burn my energy just by sitting down and thinking.

Fellow Virgo, please tell me it is not just me going mad when I say we over think, freak out often, try to be perfectionist, give up, and get frustrated because we just wrote a 10 page to-do list? We give up often, but we still get the job done. I cannot function without a little stress here and there, but I really have a short fuse and that is something I constantly try to work on.

I am a work in progress, but sometimes I wonder if I am even working towards something that is worth it? Am I investing my time where it reap benefits? Am I giving too much of my time to something that will not serve me in the future? Am I spending my time wisely? Am I giving attention to things that even matter?

That paragraph alone just proved my point that I think way, too much.

I have days when everything seems to go with the flow, I'm on my Hawaii's chill vibe. At the snap of a finger, I will turn into someone who just grew up in the hood where you have to act tough to prevent anyone from trying to mess with you. Honestly, I can go from a turtle to a chihuahua/pit bull mix in 10 seconds. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend likes the fact that I can love like a cat and attack like a pit bull if needed, but sometimes I ask myself if certain situation needs a reaction from me.

It is okay to allow yourself to release some tension, but it is more important to take a step back for a minute or two before reacting. Words can really hurt just as much as action. I learned that when I scream into a pillow, it means that I am starting to lose control and will not give a rats ass who is in my way. I will make you feel so uncomfortable to let you know that I am on full attack mode. One wrong move or word, I will forget what respect means. When I catch myself about to scream, I simply close all doors, windows, and turn on the radio or television to drown out any outside noise. Ear phones have always been my friend when I am turning into the Hulk.

Find something that you find helpful to drown out anything that's upsetting you. Before you go from 0 to 100, stop at 50 and try out a method. Whether it's loud music, a movie, laying down, work out, going for a walk (or run if you're really mad), or writing. I find that loud music, movie playing in the background, and writing helps me calm down. Sometimes venting to my sister thru text helps because we eventually turn the entire thing into a sarcastic conversation and after an hour or two, the laughing out loud emoji seems to fill up my text inbox. By the end of the day, I will feel better and no holes were punched to the walls or cars being kicked ha-ha.

It's true that it is healthy to have a little stress in our life from time to time. I really believe in this because it gives me the time I need to evaluate and better myself. I learn new things about myself by going through stress. But too much of it can cloud my mind and the last thing I want right now is to relapse to my old self.

When it comes to stress and bad vibes, limit where you invest your energy. Take a personal day-off if the stress is, too much to defuse in 30 minutes or less. If it's a small matter such as the store is out of your shoe size or that someone messed up your drive-thru order, I suggest you muffle a little "F U" under your breath then brush it off. There is no point into making a petty problem become bigger than the size of your thumb.

Spread good vibe ALWAYS and take control of your stress. Invest your energy where it matters such as time to yourself, spend time with love ones, go to the beach, or heck just nap.

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

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