30 September 2015

Summer 2015

Summer: June 21 - Sep. 23

Electric Daisy Carnival 2015
What better way to welcome summer than to start with my very first rave. To top it off, my first rave experience was the hyped event at Las Vegas' Motor Speedway: EDC! Crossed off the bucket list and shared the experience with a childhood friend and new friends from Hawaii. I could have not asked for a better crew to be surrounded with. To end the EDC chaos, my two Hawaii homies got a night out together. I finally tried escargot (part of my bucket list) and not planning to go for seconds ha-ha. Just imagine chewing and thinking about how they came from a shell, walk across with slime, and they have antennas. Yeah, no thank you. I'm not French enough for that. 

I was fortunate enough to celebrate a very historical day that has welcomed Love Equality. All 50 States now have legalized LGBT marriages! I got to spend last few days with my best friend before parting cities for the third time, but we are growing apart in physical distance and strength in everything else. All that mattered was cherishing every moment we had together to hug and laugh uncontrollably. It was also a great bonus to spend time with new friends for a second or third time. 

04 July 2015

Shit happens

Seems like plans will be about two months late as expected. Joel's job got him to stay back on the ship for extra two months due to work and emergency purposes. That just puts everything to a corner starting with the apartment, moving the other half of the things back in Hawaii, and everything else.

I feel like poop thinking about how everything that was planned out just got messy in less than three text sentences, damn it! Now we have to reevaluate the plan and make changes. I'm trying not to stress, too much about it so I'll look at is as I have more time to thoroughly plan out again. Hopefully this time it will be easier and less hectic since I will not be rushing so much.

My mainland vacation is about to end on July 22 because I have been missing my Patron and Elias so much since I got here and I need to get back to complete my summer, and to get things done. I miss snuggling my fur ball babies so much :(

I guess it's only appropriate to lay out my planner again?

  • Last Hawaii Summer 
  • Road Test 
  • Donate all unwanted things
  • Garage Sale?
  • Sell rest of unwanted clothes 
  • Finalize apartment application 
  • Ship out leftovers threadflip clothes 
  • Neuter Elias
  • Box up things to ship & bring 
  • Savings balance goal: $12k
  • Sell motorbike 
  • Sell gym equipments 
  • Start applying for jobs
  • Purchase an automobile 
  • …….loading 
I think so much, don't I? I feel so restless since I found out that all our August plans were to be moved back. Hey, shit happens and it probably has a purpose. So be it. 

My Summer 2015 blog post will be up soon :)

01 July 2015

Month 7: I fell off the wagon for a week

The week of June 22 - 28th really got me good. I fell off the wagon, guys! I feel like it took over my entire month, but today I'm taking back control and cleaned up my vape.

EDC happened and no one was allowed to bring in vapes, 99% of the friends I was with smoked so it was an easier fix for me. That one night led to the next day, to buying a pack, to buying another pack and a lighter for the following weekend. I made a lot of bad health decisions this week, but I don't want to beat myself up for it. I'm on vacation and got carried away with fun and making memories. Yes, I got drunk, I smoked, and this & that. That is no excuse, but the main thing is that I recognize where I messed up at and need to get back up. I'll call it an occasional slip up?

I could have easily just covered up the lie and say I did perfectly wonderful, but what's the point of this one year journey to recovery if I don't tell the truth about how hard it can get, too. There you go, I slipped up for a week. I let a melting pot of toxins in my body, recognize the problem, and pick up where I left off.

Cheers xoxo.

30 June 2015

debt free: June 2015 breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #4: $0 = $10,650

This month went by quickly and this update will probably be one of the shortest post EVER! Since I have been putting in more to the monthly payment the due date has been pushed to November 2015. To save the confusion of constantly apologizing or why the balance is not budging, this will be my last post on this debt until November.

I will resume paying monthly in November again.

16 June 2015

month 6: like a breeze

I know its about two weeks late of a post, but I am finally starting my summer vacation. This month did not have much new changes because it was easy breezy. I did not crave nicotine as much and my vape fully charged last longer than usual. I was not reaching out for it as much as before, and noticed that I am having less breakout. My energy is back to normal as if I have never smoked a stick in my life, so that's the best news I've got.

Ta-da! I am half way to my "one year" vaping journey.

05 June 2015

debt free: May 2015 breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #4: $500 = $10,650

Well, there's that. This has to be the biggest payment we have ever made for this last debt since it is our last student loan. The reason behind paying 5X the actual minimum monthly payment was to move the due date forward to help us out with the move in August. Instead of the next due date being July after paying $500 in May, I was able to move it down to November. Perfect! That will give us time to try and settle a little bit when we move.

We're trying to play catch up right now because I am starting to feel overwhelm with so many things to do by myself here and UGH I feel dead! I got a little off track with the spending last month because Ulta.com App happened :(  - Forgive me! I am trying extra hard, that's all that matters right now.

22 May 2015

OMG Almost a month gone!

*This picture has nothing to do with the post, but it's exactly how I feel lately. Ha-ha*

I have not been blogging as much due to the fact that it is crazy, crazy, HECTIC lately. I have finally booked my flight to Vegas for next month and for the past three weeks I have been packing, organizing, and boxing up things to donate. Not to mention I have been trying to boost up energy to keep up with my workout routine, my eating habit is making me tired, and just plain busy. Oh, and I also have a busy mind that seems to be on full crank then dying out half way thru the day -_-.

I just wanted to touch base with whoever reads the blog and say that "I am still alive." My calendar so far seems to be really jammed pack as of right now, but I am beyond excited. I can't wait to start doing the shits I have always wanted to do. Travel, eat, decorate, family, and love. I'm just pretty much excited to just make plans and decisions that no one can influence anymore, I am so ready to start living the way I have always dreamt of. I feel like I was in jail for, too long and finally get released ha-ha.

Can I just spread out how the next few months will look like for me so I don't have to keep apologizing? Ha-ha, honestly can I? Okay, I will then :)


  • More packing
  • Finish Booty program
  • Apartment consultation 


  • Road test
  • EDC weekend
  • San Francisco retreat


  • Finalize apartment - set move in date
  • Back to Hawaii 
  • Last Hawaii summer 
  • Pack up everything 
  • Change of addresses, important documents, errands, etc. 


  • Birthday Month!
  • Move in
  • Honestly, everything will be crazy from here on out until we settle in ha-ha


  • Loading……….
I feel worn out typing that list down, man. I will still try my best to post the "$30k Debt-Free" and my monthly vaping updates :) Once the storm calms down, I will share a little bit of the "new compound" and of course the summer fun. I will milk the month of June as it might just be the last summer I spend with my best friend for awhile since she's moving up to The Bay. Our schedules will just be all over the place since we will both be busy settling in. Lets just say, June will be our one last hoorah before we turn into mature 25+ years old who has to start acting like adults ha-ha. Damn, I hate that word so much. 

Welp, here goes nothing. I am just excited, anxious, nervous, and the entire 9 yards. Lets get it! 

04 May 2015

Self confidence empire

We all struggle with confidence! We really do. It might sound shallow but I really think it has a lot to do with looks. Sure looks should not matter so much (that's the lie your mother will tell you ha-ha), but growing up I always felt like an ugly duckling.

After 20 something years, I learned how to build confidence and to find self-worth. I did not have much confidence until three years ago and I did not realize my self-worth until last year. So you see, it takes time and in your 20s, it really should be your selfish years.

Here are the three top area where I learned to LOVE myself:

  1. Fitness Journey 
  2. Travel
  3. Alone time

Let me clear something here first before anyone judge or comment on this list. I am not saying you should go out and buy a box of make-up, drain your bank account, and to isolate yourself from any interaction. Let's break them down to what I have learned in the past few years. 


To most, you will translate this into "appearance". I am not going to sugar coat it and lie, but yes that is one of it. Our body is a temple and we must take care of it because no one else will. A lot of our insecurities comes from the way we look. Either from having acne scars, extra pounds, that annoying muffin top when we wear our favorite jeans, or feeling worthless because we ate too much burgers. Take control of your health and it will reflect on the outside. 

I used to think that fitness was a destination, but as the years pass by I began to realized that fitness is a journey. It's a never ending journey to a better health and should be practiced daily, and not just when you are feeling bloated or need to "drop a few pounds" to fit into your jeans for the weekend. 

Workout helped me shed 30+ pounds a few years ago and that helped boost my confidence because my clothes started to get loose and smaller clothes began to fit better. Then I slacked off because I got comfortable (we all know that relapse feeling), and gained 1/3 of the weight I lost and began to feel chummy again. 

I'm back on track again (Seven weeks strong as of today) and I have never felt better. I started to rely on my workout as a stress reliever and as an energy booster. When you have a full load of energy, there is nothing you cannot do. Okay, that might be too much but yes it does give you "super powers", it gives you well… confidence. When you like what you see, you are more likely to give out positive vibes in all aspects of your life.


I wish I had a "travel" mindset before I graduated high school. You cannot turn back time, but you can always start something now. Although I regret not going to a four-year college somewhere in the mainland I still decided to explore new places. I got bit by the travel bug when I took a vacation all on my own last year and I do not regret it one bit. I did spend time with family and my best friends, but the fact that I traveled on my own was the best feeling ever.

Traveling and meeting new people & new places will be one of the best experience you will ever have. Money spent on traveling is the best investment you will ever have. Get out of your comfort zone and see what the world has to offer. Experience and enjoy the company of others for yourself. You will learn a lot about yourself, realize what you want in your life, and what you don't want. New people and places will allow you to analyze your own life and see where you want to be. It either helps you appreciate what you already have or what you want to change.

You cannot grow as an individual if you are always surrounding yourself with the same people, place, and view. You cannot keep on living where your problems come from. Go beyond that THEN come back to analyze your own situation. See what needs to change and what should stay.

During my endless in and out travel since last year (I actually traveled quite often than usual), I felt refreshed and got my passion to start a business again. I came back home with the determination that in order for me to move forward with my dreams, I need to work harder than usual and never let one bad day get me down. I met hustlers, entrepreneurs, and motivated people. That is something I needed in my life because I was lacking in that department.

Go out and explore! Make new connections with people and new places! Just live.

Alone time

I was never the type of person who liked being alone. I always had to have someone with me at all times. Whether it'd be eating a meal, watching a movie, or someone to walk around the mall with and shop. I could not stand silence AT ALL! Call me needy or childish, I don't care.

During your teenage years you want nothing more than the company of a bunch of "friends" and less with family. You want quantity over quality in everything. As you get older and face more stress, you seek silence and just a handful of people to be around you at your worst times.

I filtered out my friends and who I let in my circle, so to the eyes of others I seem like a loner. I only trust ten or less people and out of that ten, I can only tell 1-2 about everything. The only person who knows every single thing about me is myself.

Practice having an "alone time" and learn to be your own best friend. No one in this world understands you more than yourself. If you spend time to yourself at least once a day, you take time out from dipping into others' dramas and really begin to focus on YOU. Silence is a virtue and so is being your own friend.

You don't always have to be around others every day, every weekends, or text/call your friends. Sometimes it is best to just ignore everyone for awhile and have a connection with yourself. Go shopping, drive for hours, eat lunch, chill, or lounge around. Whatever method you choose make sure you find the purpose of your "alone time." It should be when you are at peace with your own company,  reflect what you appreciate about yourself, and to push back the opinions of others. Talk to yourself!

I started practicing alone time about a year and a half ago, BEST DECISION EVER! I can think clearly without the influence of other's opinions. I learned to rely on myself and to fully trust my own decisions without feeling like I am doing something that other people will not approve of. Today, I don't always feel the need to go out and be surrounded by people that wants to "catch up." I pick the circle I want to "hang out" with and will not think twice about saying "No" to a situation I don't feel like being in. I would rather be alone doing the "basic bitch" thing at night than be around acquaintances. Alone time has taught me how to value my time, energy, and my self worth. Not everyone is your friend, remember that.

Bottom line

I built my self confidence empire from the bottom and up. I worked on myself from the outside and in (because working on the exterior first is easier). Sure it took me years, but the outcome was worth the while. I no longer let someone tell me that the baby fats on my forearm needs to be toned up (because I know they are not budging, but have you checked out my tush? ha-ha), I'm working on building my dream job from scratch and 100% passion once again, and no one can make me question myself anymore because I know where I'm meant to be going.

The best art you can work on is yourself. If you take a setback, look at it as a break and recuperate. Get up from where you left off and slay!

"Giving people self-confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act."  -Jack Welch

01 May 2015

Month 5: That energy is fire!

This post is a little late due to all the craziness this #MayPac has brought upon us Filipinos ha-ha. I'm totally being sarcastic, I was just slammed by a bunch of things here and there. Endless thinking.

Enough pity party. My fifth month came and gone so fast that I did not even notice it. I noticed that I had less hormonal chin break breakouts, less headaches, and the pain in my gums have been minimal. During the first couple months of vaping, my gums would hurt or between my teeth would tingle. I don't know if it was from vaping, but I have noticed that it had gone from a 10 to a 3 as far as pain goes from the scale of 1 to 10. 

My energy this month has been on crack! I never missed a day of workout (especially leg day 3x/week) and for that I am thankful. Five months ago, I know I would have never made it past 2 weeks into the workout program and would be complaining about doing legs three times a week. Either that's dedication or from the lack of analogs, but whatever it might be - THANK YOU!

Dear Month 6, 

I hope that all the energy I gained from Month 5, I hope I will give it my all. So here is a cheers to the month of May. 

30 April 2015

Debt free: April 2015 breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #4: $300 =  $11,100.57

Joel and I never knew that this day would come when we are only down to ONE student loan debt. Hallelujah! As of today, we are only taking care of this last school loan and although it is not the last debt we will acquire, it should be the last student loan. In the next few months we will probably acquire a new car loan and some home goods because we are moving in a few months. 

Come on though, student loan debts are the death of all our 20s because we are usually working just to pay for a piece of paper -_-. Since I posted a payment that is three times the actual minimum payment the due date has been pushed to July. Hopefully in the next two months, I can continue to pay $300 to push the next due to date December or January 2016 to help us out for the move in August. April is the month were crunch time started and I cannot be more stressed that I already am. I am on the verge of hitting Britney Spears 2007 era, I am losing it ha-ha. 

Before moving, we want to have a total balance of $10,000 on this last student loan so cross fingers that it all falls through. Honestly, I have no idea what I am doing as far as balancing and saving money right now because my mind is everywhere. I am starting to wear out…… like driving on a 15-year-old tires. 

The goal for this last piece of SOB is to pay it completely off by the 3rd quarter of 2016. So…. that means not much will be put into savings, but once it is gone? Save, save, save! 

What are your financial goals for the rest of 2015?

13 April 2015

Invested energy

Lately, I have been wanting to yank my hair, scream, punch walls, and kick a car off its parking stall. Bottom line, my stress level have been going 100 mph and I am close to burning out. So many things to think about and to do, and being the Virgo that I am I am prone to wearing off myself without budging. I can burn my energy just by sitting down and thinking.

Fellow Virgo, please tell me it is not just me going mad when I say we over think, freak out often, try to be perfectionist, give up, and get frustrated because we just wrote a 10 page to-do list? We give up often, but we still get the job done. I cannot function without a little stress here and there, but I really have a short fuse and that is something I constantly try to work on.

I am a work in progress, but sometimes I wonder if I am even working towards something that is worth it? Am I investing my time where it reap benefits? Am I giving too much of my time to something that will not serve me in the future? Am I spending my time wisely? Am I giving attention to things that even matter?

That paragraph alone just proved my point that I think way, too much.

I have days when everything seems to go with the flow, I'm on my Hawaii's chill vibe. At the snap of a finger, I will turn into someone who just grew up in the hood where you have to act tough to prevent anyone from trying to mess with you. Honestly, I can go from a turtle to a chihuahua/pit bull mix in 10 seconds. Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend likes the fact that I can love like a cat and attack like a pit bull if needed, but sometimes I ask myself if certain situation needs a reaction from me.

It is okay to allow yourself to release some tension, but it is more important to take a step back for a minute or two before reacting. Words can really hurt just as much as action. I learned that when I scream into a pillow, it means that I am starting to lose control and will not give a rats ass who is in my way. I will make you feel so uncomfortable to let you know that I am on full attack mode. One wrong move or word, I will forget what respect means. When I catch myself about to scream, I simply close all doors, windows, and turn on the radio or television to drown out any outside noise. Ear phones have always been my friend when I am turning into the Hulk.

Find something that you find helpful to drown out anything that's upsetting you. Before you go from 0 to 100, stop at 50 and try out a method. Whether it's loud music, a movie, laying down, work out, going for a walk (or run if you're really mad), or writing. I find that loud music, movie playing in the background, and writing helps me calm down. Sometimes venting to my sister thru text helps because we eventually turn the entire thing into a sarcastic conversation and after an hour or two, the laughing out loud emoji seems to fill up my text inbox. By the end of the day, I will feel better and no holes were punched to the walls or cars being kicked ha-ha.

It's true that it is healthy to have a little stress in our life from time to time. I really believe in this because it gives me the time I need to evaluate and better myself. I learn new things about myself by going through stress. But too much of it can cloud my mind and the last thing I want right now is to relapse to my old self.

When it comes to stress and bad vibes, limit where you invest your energy. Take a personal day-off if the stress is, too much to defuse in 30 minutes or less. If it's a small matter such as the store is out of your shoe size or that someone messed up your drive-thru order, I suggest you muffle a little "F U" under your breath then brush it off. There is no point into making a petty problem become bigger than the size of your thumb.

Spread good vibe ALWAYS and take control of your stress. Invest your energy where it matters such as time to yourself, spend time with love ones, go to the beach, or heck just nap.

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" -Ralph Waldo Emerson

10 April 2015

90-days Build-a-booty program

I know I mentioned that I will keep only ONE post to update everyone on my fitness journey, but I would like to share the workout programs that I am using to help me achieve my goals.

***I will update this post once I finish the full 90 days of this program with before and after pictures. In the mean time, I will post my 3 weeks result from the first month of the program. Please no rude comments, thanks.***

The program is fairly simple and the moves on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being hard), I would rate it about a 7. But when you perform each moves with great form and increase in weights/resistance, you will scream rating it at 11. The steps are easy to follow, but TRUST ME when I say that when you start increasing your weights each week, you will either feel like you are on beast mode or cry from shaking knees and sore thighs.

You only need a set dumbbells for the program to which I suggest investing on a power block to make it easier for you to switch your weights when necessary. Purchase yourself some ankle weights as well for the glutes bridges move to give resistance. Another equipment I use is a bar with changeable weights to go with it (my boyfriend works out at home  as well & purchased individual weights prior to purchasing the power block). I use the bar for the regular deadlift move and have recently increased the weights about two weeks ago. I went from puny 40 pounds to 50 pounds during the last two weeks of the first month. I am happy to say that I will be increasing the weights for my deadlift to 60-70 pounds this coming week (my goal is at least 100 - 120 pounds by the end of the program).

The key to maximizing your results or to notice results is to be consistent, eat clean, and do your stretches. This is my 2nd if not 3rd time trying out the program, but I was not consistent thus not seeing much results. I have not missed a single session for the last 4 weeks and I am starting to reap the benefits. My glutes feel more firm and giiiiirl, they are starting to defy gravity ha-ha. Eat clean while doing the program (or any fitness journey or just in general actually) because why try to tone up when you're always scarfing down quarter pounders and large fries dunked in chocolate shake? Eating clean will also help you boost your energy for the next booty day! Last tip is to always do your stretches! I used to be flexible because I used to do at home pilates, yoga, and flexibility challenge, but that went out the door last year. Now, I am stiff as a log once again and made my first two weeks like hell because I often had sore muscles. Try to spend at least 5 minutes to stretch out your legs the day before booty day and again on your booty/leg day. It helps you prepare and avoid stiff muscles :) There is nothing worse than working out like a beast when you cannot do the right form due to sore and stiff muscles. No bieno!

So far, I would recommend this program to anyone wanting a firm apple bottom by 2015 summer season. You have 3 months to get that if you start today!

Equipments needed:

  • Set of dumbbells (various weights)
  • Bar (optional)
  • Ankle weights (optional)
  • Chair
  • Individual weights (optional)
Total program length:
  • 90 days (3 months & 3 phase)

Taken: March 2015 (3rd week results)

06 April 2015

Movers Ready?

It's that time of the year again when the bucket and mop gets together for long hours of cleaning. Empty boxes for "Throw, Donate, Keep" label. I'll be honest here, I don't get why thoroughly cleaning your home should be determined by a season. I mean, shouldn't you always try and keep it clean anyway? Who am I to judge, I was just putting it out there ha-ha. Please don't hate me. 

I'm afraid of spring because although my allergies happens whenever it feels like it, I hate spring the most. It always makes me want to shoot my nose off. I still do it anyway because I am a clean freak, so what the heck. 

This year's spring cleaning will be a little different because it might just be the official LAST spring cleaning I will ever have in Hawaii. I'm starting to have doubts about it, but I think I just feel anxious. I'm also going to be honest that I have not made any "to clean" list this time as I usually do each year, but rather made categories and list of what I need to rid of and take. I'm starting the "Mover's Ready" list. 

My spring cleaning involves: Sell, Keep, Donate, and Save bucket (Moving expenses such as first rent, tickets, pets, etc).

  1. 30% - 50% of clothes (Thru Threadflip app)
  2. 25% home goods (Summer garage sale?)
  3. Furnitures (Dresser, desk, tables thru Craigslist)
  4. DVDs (Thru Buy-and-sell book stores)
  5. Workout equipments (Thru Craigslist)
  6. iMac (Thru online?)
  1. Christmas goodies
  2. Unsold clothes
  3. Books
  4. Unsold home goods
  1. Clothes that still fits and of use 
  2. Sentimental items 
  3. Our Dog and Bunny (Obviously ha-ha)
  1. $1,500 (for Doggy & Bunny)
    • $500 for plane tickers
    • $500 for vet check-ups & neuter surgery 
    • $100 airline approved carriers 
    • $400 for first month expenses 
  2. $2,000 (for The Move)
    • Two one-way tickets 
    • Luggages fees
  3. $1,500 (for Move-in fees)
    • Non-refundable fees
    • Pet fees
    • Bunch of first time renter b.s. really 
  4. $2,000 (for transportation)
    • Auto downpayment
  5. $10,000 (for 6-7 months expenses)
    • Monthly rent
    • Monthly expenses & current bills 
This seems like a lot of money to save & things to do just to move and in just 3-4 months (due date), but as long as we focus and stay on track I think it is very doable. Give me the strength to avoid winter clearance, God. I beg of you ha-ha. This is the big reason why I started the Shopping Diet Challenges because I needed motivation. 

Month breakdown :
  1. April - May 
    • Sell unwanted clothing
    • Save Bucket # 1, #3, & #5
  2. June - August  
    • Sell and Donate everything 
    • Save Bucket #2 & #4
It's a pretty simple list,  but when money is involved it surely is harder to follow. I think I will print this post out and stick it on my wall. I can feel a panic attack coming through just reading the Save Bucket category. But I am a Virgo and this is what we do! Make a long list, panic, look at the list again, panic some more, give up, and eventually get it done anyway. 


01 April 2015

Month 4: Decreasing on MG

This month went by rather quickly and I cannot praise the heavens enough for it. Given that my third month was filled with plugged nose and I could not taste my food, this month was the end of it. I started tasting food as long as if they were spicy at the level of sweats on your scalp, lips numb, and eyes burning.

I didn't notice much changes as far as my body goes but I am happy to say that I have noticed my vaping decreased. The amount of nicotine also dropped from 12 mg to 3-9mg in just three weeks. My urge to vape now compared to two months ago has lessen to about 50% if I say so myself. I no longer feel the need to constantly hold on to my vape when I am out in public or near me. My battery life on my vape at full charge can last me about a day and a half, sometimes a full 48 hours. A 15 ml e-juice use to last me exactly 7 days and as of today, that can last me about 10 days.

My fourth month has to be the closest I have ever gotten to being analog-free compared to the days I used to try cold turkey. I have never felt better about my skin, breathing, and waking up in the morning. I dreaded waking up because I always felt sluggish and tired, but today I can stretch for a minute and hop out of bed at 7AM without wanting to roll over and sleep in.

I know it is not as good as being completely off the analogs because I still have nicotine intakes daily, but give me credit because I have been a half-a-pack-a-day for 6 long years. This is the closest I got to victory! Ha-ha, sounds mushy, but if it had not been for vaping I would not have the energy to start up on my fitness journey again or have the strength to wake up with a positive attitude everyday. Vaping has helped me think clearly and focus on all the things on my to-do-list.

What have you done to help you quit analogs? Are you vaping?

31 March 2015

Debt Free: March 2015 Breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #3: $2,858.21 =  PAID OFF!
Debt #4: $200 =  $11,282.17

FINALLY! One of the two major student loans is paid off! Thank you Jesus. We are officially one pay off closer to start our "First Home" savings. The feeling has not sunk it yet since the payment has only been placed today and it will take about 2-3 business days for it to show on the student profile, but a little "Hooray" doesn't hurt, right? So HOORAAAAAYYYY *Happy dance, twerk twerk* 

That out of the way, Joel and I can start feeding our savings account in lump sum each month and continue to pay Debt #4 monthly. The monthly minimum for Debt #4 is $111.00 but by paying double each month, we are actually giving ourselves an "allowance." This means that if we cannot pay the next month, it is okay because paying double will push your due date forward by an extra month. Ex: I paid $200 for March, my next due date will be in May.

This method will hopefully work in our favor in the next few months since we are planning to make a move. Yes, I spent my vacation to go apartment hunting and I found a place that would be perfect. I just need to make a trip back up with Joel to finalize everything :)

Now that Debt #3 is done and over with, it's crunch time. Time to focus on building up that credit score, savings account, and de-cluttering the house.

What do you hope to accomplish by going debt-free?

18 March 2015

To end the suffering

I've been feeling a little crappy lately and I don't know if it's the bipolar weather or that I'm feeling low. Whatever it is, I am trying to avoid hitting rock bottom.

During my past vacation, I heard of two suicides and one that hit me like a brick because a teenage girl the same age as my nephew killed herself. She was bullied because of her sexuality and that is one of the hardest thing to ever go thru as a teenager. During my vacation, I took the time to listen to my growing niece and nephew as they deal with things I have already experienced, and it sucks to know that they are starting to hurt the same way I have. Bullying is never okay and I know how strong words and actions can affect a young person. My nephew is dealing with people bullying him because he's trying to do the right thing while my niece is being bullied by her own “friends”. Both are not okay with me as I dealt with both while I was in school.

It hurts to know that I cannot be there to stand as a shield in front of them, but I can talk to them which is something I never had. I had “talks” with my mom, but she didn't understand where I was coming from because she didn't grow up in an era where kids were cruel & self-harming existed.

One thing I wanted my parents to understand when I was going through all the bullshits was that no matter how many biblical quotes they shoved down my throat, I still felt alone. No matter how many hours and days they stayed home with me, I still felt like I was facing the world on my own. The weight of the world was crushing my ribs, my spine, and my will.

Sometimes when I hear news about someone that committed suicide I always think to myself “That could have been me. He/she is no longer suffering.” The feeling of wanting to die is a way for the individual to look at it as an escape to stop feeling pain the next day. They cannot take the heartache or the many sleepless nights. They are emotionally drained and just feel like a bag of bones.

This might sound stupid, but no one thinks about suicide to hurt other people. I admit that there were times when I wanted to make others feel pain as if I will rise from my grave, and watch those who tortured me be grieve stricken or say “sorry.” This is the exact thought I had the very last time I stood in my closet when I was a teenager. I bawled my eyes out sitting on the floor just thinking how much it will hurt my parents, and that they might feel like they failed as parents. I actually had a conversation in my head weighing out all the reasons why I should and shouldn't. If I went through with it and succeeded, it'll mean that I let my tormenters win and I lose (even in death). This is how I dealt with it then and how I deal with it now.

I'm not going to lie and say I haven't relapsed recently, but how I deal with problems that I feel like is out of my control is to always think “Never let them get the best of you. It's okay to cry in frustrations, but never let them break you.”

I know how it feels like when the world feels like it's swallowing you whole and you're losing hope. If you find yourself trying to find ONE reason why you shouldn't end your suffering, think about the people that loves you the most and think how you'll leave them suffering with your absence.

The best response you can give to whatever or whoever is hurting you is your presence. Let them know you are aware of what they are doing to you, but you refuse to let them win. 

16 March 2015

Shopping Diet Challenges

I know I'm not the first one to say that I have a shopping addiction. It does not matter if it's a shirt on sale, a shoe on clearance that will not be made anymore, or that "I always need bobby pins" from Walmart. Bottom line, I have a problem that's not diagnose by professionals except my boyfriend who constantly ask "So what did your eyes see online today?"

This year, we are working together towards two goals: Move into a new place and to erase a total of $8,500 of student loan (that pays off one and partial of the other one.) I am responsible of budgeting and balancing our finances. He works long months so the least I can do is control my shopping….. err addiction. Yes, I called it an addiction because sometimes I just really have a hard time putting down the credit cards or walking away from a great sale or clearance item at TJMaxx.

I have been meaning to do this for almost a year now, but my vacation last year side tracked my mind (great excuse, eh) and decided to neglect that potential goal.

This seems simple enough but budgeting really is harder than it seems. It's all about self control and I know that's something that seems to be hard for people with shopping addiction -_-.

Starting today March 16, 2015, there will be no binge shopping. Here are the list of what I can and cannot shop for:

#1 Challenge: March - June 2015

  • Groceries (homemade dog food, basic groceries etc)
  • Pet necessities (medicines, rabbit food, grooming)
  • Vape (coil, e-juice)
  • Hygiene (toothpaste, shampoo, soap, etc)
  • Accessories (bags, jewelry, shoes, hats)
  • Miscellaneous (nail polish, eBay)
  • Household goods (decorations, bedsheets, kitchenware)
  • Electronic goods
  • Entertainment (DVDs, e-books, iTunes movies)
  • Beauty products (trying out new products just because)
  • Clothes (online shopping mainly when I am bored)
***EDIT: April 9, 2015:
Obviously I had to redo this shopping diet post because I have gotten into reading books lately, and I discovered Kindle and iBook. I also had to restock on my holy grail of nail strengthener and new gym clothes. So you see, I'm all over the place.

I did however kept my cool as far as buying new clothes and home goods, etc. I stuck to the original Do's and Don'ts about 70%. Instead of doing a list for each challenge, I will set a month budget. Any left over from the monthly budget will be automatically added into savings account.

April has just started and I have not spent on anything, not even groceries so we can pick up from there. Here are the NEW challenge rules.***


  1. $500 monthly budget
  2. Spend ONLY on - 
    • Grocery = 60%
    • Misc = 40%
      • Vape
      • Workout needs
      • Restock supplies i.e. toothpaste, shampoos, etc.
      • Books
      • Lunch dates with my mama (Yes, this is a must and a new goal)

What I hope to accomplish with this Shopping Diet Challenge?
My boyfriend and I want to finally make a fresh start by moving to a new city. We want to welcome our future being debt and clutter free as well as having better control over our finances. It's a journey we hope to turn into a habit :)



07 March 2015

Self-Injury Awareness

March is Self-Injury Awareness month & this hits close to home. I was never that open about this part of my life and I always looked down or ignored the subject when someone brings it up. I never flaunt my past addiction and try not to make my scars visible or the point of a conversation. But as I get older and an aunt to teenagers now, I feel that it is best to be open about it because I don't want them to suffer the same way.

I never had an open relationship with my strict parents and was not comfortable talking to my friends about what's going on.

So here it is, I self-harm from 2003 - 2013. Between 2003 - 2008 were the worst because it went from 0-100 real quick. It became an outlet, then a habit, and turned into a real addiction. After 2008, it became an occasional outlet when stress became, too much.

*** This post is a little sensitive for me to write. No research was involved and all are personal experiences. I am not condoning self-harm and do not wish others to start. I just want to reach out to those suffering and remind you that you can overcome it. I have always wanted to share my story on this matter because it consumed me for almost half of my young life and it slowly mold me into the person I am today. ***

I was a shy middle school student in 2003 who followed the crowd. It was a trend when everyone had little cuts on their wrist and I tried it. I didn't like it the first time until I had my first heart break. I started with little chicken scratches every other night and eventually got over it. In 2004, I had my first big break up where I was lied to, treated like shit, and left hanging. That's when the real addiction started, I was sitting on the corner of my bed under my bed side lamp and crying every night. Each night, the line got deeper and deeper while overlapping the same line from the night before. It got to the point where my skin would split open and it bled once the blade swiped pass.

In late 2005, I was bullied by people who called themselves my "friends" from rumors spread by one person. I felt like it was me against the world and I turned my focus on getting good grades during the day, but at night I felt so worn out that I turned to self-harm. Sometimes I even brought a tool with me to school and often excused myself to the bathroom in between classes to get my "fix".

By 2006, I was using self-harm as a way to get away with feeling pain and stress from everyday petty dilemmas.

What triggered it for me came from feeling like I was binge eating to feeling so low. I didn't show much emotions growing up so no one really knew if they were getting to me. I brought all my pain home and saved it for bed time because I did not let anyone know that they can actually make me cry. After years of crying alone, I began to not feel a thing because I started getting numbed to people's hurtful words and actions. I self medicated to let myself know that I'm still "alive" and it was a way to focus my stress into something else. It helped me forget how cruel people can be because with each line and each drop, it stung and I was crying from that physical pain rather than what I was feeling inside.

Anxiety attacks

What was once my occasional outlet became an addiction because what was once something I turned to for all the stress I faced, I began using it when I am bored. It became a nightly routine even on days when I was having a day. I did not need a reason to turn to it because I was turning an outlet into a habit. A bedtime routine was not complete without it. The habit became so bad that I started hating myself for it. I even tried to do cold turkey and tucking away my "trusty friend" to help me forget, but I felt like I was alone and lost without it. I did not know how to function without my tools and found myself searching for new things to experiment with. There was even a time when I did not know what to do with myself that I swallowed an entire bottle of iron pills and fell asleep on my carpet floor and woke up the next morning disappointed that I was not dead. I wanted to stop self-harming so much that there were nights when I would write letters to my family members in my journal and stand inside my closet staring at a tied up rope that I found in the shed. I hated myself for a long time because I felt like I was different and carried such a taboo secret that everyone flaunt in school for attention, but at the same time no one talked about. 

I thought something was wrong with me because all we learned in school was substance abuse, don't do drug, and use condoms. No teachers ever taught us that self-harm was also an addiction. 

How I overcame it:
Even into my adult life, I still turned to my "trusty friend" 5 years out of high school. Life was getting complicating because I was stressing about the future, and I did not know what I was supposed to be. It took me 24 years to realized that I am capable of controlling how I faced each stress and where I should focus on. I learned to love myself through trial and error. I found my happy place and where my presence was appreciated. I finally found peace when Joel told me that he loves me so much and begged me to never hurt myself again. 

All I needed was someone to say that when I hurt myself, they share that pain I feel. I just wanted to hear someone tell me that they care as much as they showed it. I overcame this part of my life by finally  realizing that I needed to surround myself with people that cares, makes me happy, and never ask me to be someone else other than myself. 

Today I live by Mahatma Gandhi's "No one can hurt me without my permission."

05 March 2015

Getting ahead in life

This is the perfect post to finally introduce my better half, my King, my personal cheerleader. This was our first ever picture 8 years ago :)

Most people read that title and think “money.” I know two years ago, I would have thought that but as you get older, it means more than just money. I have realized that lately I have been writing down “to-list” that connects back to money because I can't shake off the student loan debt my boyfriend has earned from college. But things are starting to fall into place for us because we are moving forward in our relationship.

We have been together for a total of seven years passing through a lot of mess, stress, goals, and growth. Being apart (thru physical distance) taught us how to develop as an individual, which is something we were not able to do since we were always together as “kids.”

We both have our own dreams, but one dream we do have in common is that we want success – a life full of satisfaction, hard work, and unlimited love. We matured together as a team and as individuals, which is what I define as getting ahead. We are a team formed by two cheerleaders because we are each other's biggest supporter. When one is down, the other will carry the weight of the world until the other fully recover. We do not let each other trail behind and stay there alone.

To get ahead in life, you must work on yourself before anything can fall in to place. Nobody and nothing is perfect. Everything requires your focus and 110% attention, but always be aware of your surroundings. It influences your journey and you should always keep them in mind because it helps to mold you into the person you wish to be or not to be.

We're getting ahead in life by working together instead of against each other. He's working on his career** and I'm working on my dream. Life can only get better from here on out.

** For safety purposes, I will not mention what his exact career description is, but I can tell you it is not illegal ha-ha.  



02 March 2015

Quality > Quantity

I know I recently posted changes that will be made with this baby blog, but I have recently checked out apartments while on my vacation and it seems to be more fitting now to blog about what matters. I could have spent my three weeks in Las Vegas to party hard like last year, but this time around I realized that this blog should reflect my life journey.

Nothing much will change except I will remove the weekly post for “52 Reviews”. I love to review products and places, but I figured it is a waste of energy to fill up my blog with something that I am not completely passionate about or that it doesn't mix well with my life journey.

Here are the top FOUR I will continue to include in this blog. I want to share the journey and my growth.
  1. $30k Debt-free
  2. Vaping Updates
  3. Life Detox: De-cluttering life, doing what matters most, & learning the ways of a minimalist
  4. Fit Before 30

I wanted to follow the thumb rule of successful bloggers who post about everything and anything. It works so well for them that I thought I could tackle every categories. I want my readers to feel my struggle, the trial and errors, my success, and the growth. I want to put quality rather than quantity. I do not blog to reach “stardom”, I want to make a real connection with each of you :)



01 March 2015

Month 3: Stuffy Nose

Picture source

I searched up this symptom and see if it was normal. Some say it's one way your body is telling you that it is trying to get use to the vape, while others say it could be allergies. I say, I am stuck in-between the two because I do have indoor allergies and mines usually last for awhile (my nose is plugged as we speak), and it is only my third month on vape.

My third month seems to be harder than my first month. Yes, the first 30 days of quitting analogs is hard, but have you ever tried getting up every morning trying to breathe and then going to sleep but can't because your nose is so plug? That feeling like someone shoved a cement mixture through your nostril and placed a road block sign letting air know they can't pass through.

It's hard for me to determine which is the cause because I really have bad indoor allergies, so I don't know if I have to take allergy medicines, stop vaping for awhile, or take fever medicine because I'm about to get a fever. This month is really frustrating because it is messing up my vacation and it does not help that the weather is still around the 40s and 60 degrees all day and night.

On the other hand, I decreased my chin breakouts by 80%. The other 20% is caused by my monthly visit from Aunt Flow, she's on her way right now -_-.

I cannot wait what my fourth month will be like because I am so over this plugged nose. I can't enjoy my vacation and most importantly, I cannot taste any of my food ha-ha.



28 February 2015

Debt Free: February 2015 Breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #3: $1,000 =  $2,843.51
Debt #4: $200 =  $11,482.17

You see that Debt #3? Oh yeah! We are on our way to permanently erasing it. Because my vacation started this month, not much was put towards the savings account, but know that 80% of overall income this month was spent toward the bills. I had to do my share of not spending much on "things" to make sure that the $1,000 was spent toward Debt #3 and still had enough to cover the other necessary things such as dog grooming, groceries, phone bills, etc. Little sacrifices needed to be made but hey, it's all for a good cause.

My boyfriend & I had a good long conversation this month about us wanting to aim for August 2015 to find a new place to move into and in a whole new state. So every bit of money saved up will be of great help and the biggest help of all is getting rid of that one pesky debt. You have not met the boyfriend YET, but I will include a new tab or something somewhere for you to get to know us better….. BETTER TOGETHER! :) 

They say money cannot buy you happiness, which is very true. But it's a different feeling when you're slowly paying off your debt, that's like putting your life together by going debt-free. The feeling is….. hard to explain. 

How are we coming along with our debt-free journey? Are we all on track? If not, take a week off and gather your thoughts together. Evaluate your priorities and determine why you started in the beginning. Set a goal for why you are trying to go debt free. 



17 February 2015

Fit Before 30

Obviously I'm not 29, but I am five years away so I might as well, huh? I have seen many people tell themselves that they would like to get fit for their big 3-0 so I will give myself a big head start so at least by the time I am 30, I would have acquired a healthy lifestyle. Plus, I really want to enjoy my body because this is the youngest I will ever be and I want to be able to feel really comfortable naked, you know? Yeah, you ladies know what I'm talking about. This will be my ONLY post on this subject and where I will update from. I will not write individual post each month because I want to keep all my progress into one post for easier comparison and updates :) Please excuse the fact that I am wearing bummy undies, but I wanted to show how my body changes wearing the same gym clothes and a more "risqué" one ;)

Back in 2012, I dropped a total of 35 pounds and measurements were 36-28-37. I gained back a total of 15 lbs since my vacation last year and surprise surprise, my numbers increased. This time around, since I know what works for me and what does not, I have the advantage of controlling the situation before I gain that entire 35 pounds that I worked so hard to shed.

Three years ago, I was focused on dropping weights and I got up every morning just to jump on the scale. To be honest, I was pretty depressed relying on the scale and letting it determine how my day will go. As I get older, I don't really want to use the scale anymore. I gave up on the scale awhile ago that I only check my weight when I do see one lying around which is not often. This time around, I'm going to do measurements and how my mood goes and clothes fit because honestly, a scale can make you depress - TRUST ME!

February 17, 2015:
These picture and measurements were taken a month ago but I was so busy that I was not able to keep a routined workout so I stuck with drinking my daily 8 glasses of water and try to eat as healthy as possible (mostly portion control). I used to workout religiously 5-6 times a week about a year and a half ago, dropped 35 pounds and slowly gained back 15 pounds after my 2 months vacation last year. Now here I am rising to 135 lbs and gain back 2-3 inches :(

These second set of pictures were taken just few days ago around the same time as last month. I usually like to do measurements and comparison in the morning when your body has not "manipulated" you yet ha-ha. Meaning, your tummy is flatter and you feel the difference of how you have been eating all month long. After 2-3 hours, your body starts to expand as you drink your coffee and start eating. The most accurate measurements is before you eat anything & when you get out of bed. So here is my one month result from portion control. Not much as weight and measurements go, but I feel "lighter" and my clothes begin to fit differently on me again. YES, that is a badly tanned bum ha-ha. Come on, I'm from Hawaii and beach is LIFE! I have noticed that my waist seems more curved than it was a month ago and my tummy feels a little smaller. I would say flatter but then that would be a lie and it's not like I have done any abs workout in almost a year. So lets say it's a little smaller. Measurements for my waist is the same but can I just say I lost an inch off my tummy?! :) 

March 27, 2015:
I know, I'm about 2 weeks late from my posting schedule but I've been busy…… slacking off. No, I did not slack off from my workout routine, but postponing taking my pictures because lets face it, I felt bloated from my vacation and just been really lazy. I have been working hard and has not skipped a single day since I got back. I also removed all carbs from my diet for the first week and surprising enough, I dropped 4 pounds. Not caring much about the pounds (I'm still thrilled though), I was hoping to drop inches instead. It's only been two weeks so we'll see where another two weeks take me, eh? I also banish sweets for the first week and more water. My skin is thanking me right now, she's glowing like a queen :) Not much has changed from last month (refer to the pictures) because I could not be bothered with working out during my 3-week vacation. Although, I did not party as hard like last year, I did not stay up tip 3AM for late night eats, and I actually ate better. I did not eat much crap and not overdosing my system with liquor so I guess that helped me stay the same as February's picture post? I think so :) 
***These pictures were taken about 2 hours after waking up & after my cup of joe. Just trying to justify whatever needs to be ha-ha.***

May 04, 2015:
I am well aware that I am about 1-2 weeks late with my update post. I am sorry. The update picture is also different because it slipped my mind to take the same pose :/. I am delusional lately, ugh. I will continue the same progress picture next month, I promise okay? Please don't be angry with me. On a different note, I finally lost a pesky annoying inch off my waist and off my hips :). The measurements for my tummy is not included, but I went from a 36 (or 37?) down to a 35" as well. The weight don't really matter to me at this point because honestly, I did not even bother to check because I know I'm still the same as pounds goes. I have been eating frequently but the inches are coming off slowly, but surely. I've been doing extremely well as far as workout consistency. My obsession with calorie counting and the scale has gone from 10 to a 1 meaning I don't count calories, I don't worry so much about consuming carbs (as often anyway), and I will eat when I am hungry. I don't wait until I am starving to eat a meal, but I also will not snack. I will EAT, EAT, EAT! I finally understand how it is like to lift weights instead of just dying with boring cardio. I am more obsessed with my form during a stiff leg deadlift and trying to hit a new PR every two weeks (because I have a bad back and knees to keep adding on weight. I'm still weak and learning.) The progress picture below shows how far my back arched has improved (meaning my tush is coming along ha-ha), my lower tummy has decreased by a lightweight move, and my glutes are totally dying sucking up the gravity (just kidding.) I am on my 8th week of my Build-a-Booty program Read it here and my quads are coming along as well. Last month has been great because I was eating like a normal person again. A normal person who understands the importance of carbs for someone lifting weights. I was not starving my self, thank you Jesus.

01 February 2015

Month 2: Less Cravings

I never thought I would say this but, I have not smoked or craved a single cancer stick this month. This month flew by pretty fast and I did not even noticed that I have not thought about smoking. I am able to think clearly and has even managed to get down a new workout routine in less than one week. That alone usually takes me at least two weeks.

  • Waking up in the morning feeling refreshed
  • Less chin breakouts
  • Less coughing throughout the day
  • Minimum dry throat

I don't know if it's due to my month long allergies that's causing my plugged nose but I have a hard time breathing at night. My nose gets plugged (not runny or stuffy) & I still find myself clearing my throat from time to time. But then again, I think the whizzing is being caused by indoor allergies and the vape “clouds”. I still think it's better for it that way than it being caused by smoking thousands of chemicals every 30-60 minutes throughout the day.

I know it's nothing compared to someone who has quit smoking for a year but lets just say woohoo for a second please? It's a long journey and I am looking forward to what changes my third month will bring for me.

Are you starting out on your journey to quit smoking as well? Are you using a vape like me? How do you like it so far? Please do share in the comment below. I would really love to know how you are doing :)



31 January 2015

Debt Free: January 2015 Breakdown

(Debt # & Outstanding Balance)

Debt #3: $2,000 =  $3,799.13
Debt #4: $200 =  $11,401.91

It’s been almost been 12 months since I have not posted the monthly breakdown to clearing up the debts, I’m sorry. But hey, life happens okay? Important thing is getting back up & picking up where we left off. That was a bit mushy, but here is this month’s debt free breakdown journey. We like to pay in big lump sum when my boyfriend ships out for work because money income is much better than on off sea months. Vacation will be coming up again for me next month so I needed to get a grip on the bills before flying off again like last year. This year, we are very determined to pay off Debt #3 by the first six months because it’s so close to hitting that $0 balance e-mail. When Debt #3 is out of the way, the main focus will be on the last Debt #4, damn I get really a good kick whenever I do bills every month. We are not only focusing on paying off the debt this year, but also on our credit cards. We have no kids (except for a dog & a rabbit) but we also have two 7-year-old debts that demand our financial attention.

2015 is game-time…. Err making big leap financially J

How are you doing with your debt free journey? How do you manage your wants & needs? Do you worry about paying big lump sum towards your debts? Anyone in their 20s stuck paying with student loans?